The Author

My name is Elliot Holloway. I've been reading about boys, friendship, and the male experience ever since I realized just how much I had neglected my own childhood and the intimate moments that came with it. This realization came to me during the COVID-19 pandemic, where I first start reading about the male loneliness crisis, a topic that was close to home as I had lost contact with my boyhood friends -- friends who were such an intimate part of my life, who had created memories that were so special -- that to this day, I wonder if I will ever be as loved as I was back then. Only having access to these experiences in my mind without an emotional or physical outlet began to drain on my soul and mental health. I needed answers and so I kept searching, finding everything that could be related to this situation I found myself in. Needless to say, I fell down a rabbithole of literature - reading from anthropologists, sociobologists, historians, and theologians on the nature of being and what it means to be a man. It was then that I found answers in customs and words such as male camraderie, or uniquely adolescent male experiences such as initiation rituals, the Japanese concept of skinship, that everything began to make sense -- what I had experienced, the feelings I had felt, and what was missing from my life.

The Website

The reason I started this website is due to my love of boyhood. However, I quickly came to realize that not everyone who shared the same love as I did did so for the same reasons. This website is a continuation of a thread I had created on 4chan's /cm/ "cute male" board. What initally started as an attempt to have a conversation on what the nature of shotacon was quickly devolved into a schism between true shotacons and fake shotacons. It was not enough to see beauty in the male youth, to have nostalgia for one's boyhood, and to yearn for those intimate friendships one had in the past -- rather, in order to have a true appreciation for the boy, one must always sexualize him. This put myself in opposition with a number of people on the board. Characters and relationship dynamics that I saw reflect the unique, special qualities of the adolescent male experience (such as the friendship of Gon and Killua in HunterxHunter) could only be read with a homoerotic subtext in mind. Traditional or even conventional archetypes of youthful masculinity were looked down upon in favor of a personalities and tropes colored by Japanese pornography and fantasy.

I want to change that. I recognize that it is possible to have a passionate love for others, for those of the same sex without an erotic attachment. That it is possible to be passionate about boys and to love boys without sexualizing them. To want to kiss, to love and be loved, to desire the vulnerability, innocence, and intimacy that came with being a boy without fetishizing that experience.