I look at images of boys I think are cute and I find their bodies beautiful. Does this mean I'm gay?

Not at all! Finding something or someone beautiful does not have to equate with sexual orientation or sexual attraction. Are we supposed to believe that every photographer, artist, writer, poet who at one point created a work on the boy did so solely because of an implied sexual desire? Indeed, seeing the appeal in various paintings of Cupid, in sculptures of various boy youths, et cetera -- should actually be seen as a positive. That one is willing to see the beauty in all things (or that which is not typically considered "beautiful") demonstrates a type of openness that is very much needed in today's world.

I think about moments where I was a boy and it felt good holding another boy's hand or even just hugging him. Did I have a gay experience?

Physical affection is an unfortunately tricky subject in a world where any and all expressions of intimacy are perceived as signals of romantic or sexual attraction. This couldn't be further from the truth, but in a society where sex dominates, it can be hard to tell. There are several authors who've examined this topic from various angles and provided differing answers, but for now we'll consider this question rather simply. Consider this, what now is considered "gay" or "gay-coded" behavior simply was not back then. Male camaraderie and male affectionalism from Medieval men, as an example, is perceived as homoerotic in today's age, when in fact the "sin of Sodom" (homosexuality) was condemned strongly back then. Men could hold hands, hug each other, eat from the same dish, kiss each other, and even sleep in the same bed -- all without any stigma attached. This is due to the fact that the Medieval era had a more communal-focused way of life based on customs drawing from Christianity and Christian-oriented traditions such as adelphopoiesis.

To answer the second question, no, there is nothing wrong at all with holding hands or hugging someone of the same sex and feeling good about it. The reason hand-holding or hugging can feel so good is because of the shared state of physical vulnerability. Couple this with someone who is emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually connected with you on a deeper level -- and you'll never want to let go. Is it a gay experience? It doesn't have to be! Ask yourself. Are you sexually attracted to that person? Did this same act also cause arousal? If the answer to those questions are no, then you have nothing to worry about. If the answer is yes, and you'd like to reconsider that type of behavior or way of thinking, then please check out the resources page for more information.

What if I had a crush on another boy when I was younger?

How are we defining "crush" in this context? The word "love" (especially when used in English) can be easily misinterpreted and distorted. Are we talking about a passionate love that was mutually shared (but also kept chaste)? Or are we talking about a romantic, eros-driven desire? The former should not be confused with the latter. If the latter, then again, we must consider the causes of those feelings (genes, environment, parenting, and so on).

I struggle with my masculinity and identity. I don't feel like I'm a real man, and in fact, I don't like the idea of being a real man. What does this say about me?

These feelings are not your fault! It is unfortunate that too many people believe that sex and gender are determined by society and its imposed expectations rather than what was given at birth. It doesn't help that you have people giving confusing (sometimes dangerous) answers to a question that very well could risk someone's life. With that said, society does not determine your gender, but it should also be noted that there is no such thing as a "real man" or a "real woman." If you were born male -- you are male. If you were born female -- you are female, and no one can take that away from you. Standards and expectations of what determines "real men" change like the seasons, and so it is best to ignore those who tell you that you're not man enough (whatever that means, anyways).

Isn't it wrong to look at pictures of cute boys/shota? Won't people think I'm weird?

What's most important is your intention behind your actions. What brought you to look at those pictures? Chances are (even if your desire is erotic) there's something buried deep within you that is wholesome and pure. For some people, a fixation on cute boy imagery is nothing more than a way to relive pleasant memories or a way to live out an idealized boyhood that didn't exist for them. For others, it could be an expression of close, intimate friendships and relationships they experienced with other boys during adolescence. And unfortunately, for who knows how many, this fascination is a result of childhood trauma (more often than not the trauma being childhood sexual abuse). It's important that we don't automatically presume negative intent behind people who associate themselves with shotacon (although it is understandable given the subject matter).